Dementia diaries II Mothers Day
Obviously some days highlight the problems of dementia more than others and today is one of them. I bought my mum an early present of a pair of trousers (much needed) she is now a size 24 where she has for years been a size 14, mainly due to the fact that she will only eat biscuits and only moves from her chair to go to the toilet or bed when at home. When I called yesterday she was wearing the trousers but obviously had no recollection that I'd bought them. I took her a bouquet of flowers and despite the fact that there was an arrangement from my brother too she had no idea why. Choosing a card is hard as this isn't my mum and and she does nothing at all never mind being kind, helpful and thoughtful as all the cards suggest. She is however of a generation where cards for special people must have verses and so one the just says 'have a lovely day' won't cut it. You could argue she won't know but occasionally she does so you spend hours finding a card that will work!
'Have you been somewhere?'
'Ive been to the hairdressers mum'
There are no links in her brain to the polite social responses - despite having had my hair cropped a lot shorter, despite the socially accepted norms there is not a flicker of response.
Dad did catch her dancing at the respite centre on Friday so maybe they know how to elicit a response - we certainly don't. To all of you who still have their mothers - cherish the moments. To my friends who have lost theirs or who have lost children - cherish the memories. X